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My name is Makini Marsden I am the wife of Ricardo Marsden who has been convicted of a crime he did not commit. Before  being directly involved with the prison system my views on incarceration were like most ,I was ignorant and blind to the effects that this system has on our society and the negative impact it is having on the children of America. As a  spouse this system has broken me down emotionally financially and spiritually , because  my spouse has been labeled as a criminal ,I  have also been incriminated for my association with him. Regardless of the fact that he is wrongfully convicted, People  never hesitate to judge me because of my affiliation with someone incarcerated. I have been stigmatized by  co workers , friends, family and church's.  The families that support loved ones who are incarcerated have been subjected to invisible imprisonment and harsh punishment from those with a lack of understanding ,of the day to day struggles that we are subjected to. We  are looked at as weak ,desperate or even foolish for being in a prison relationship. we constantly get asked how can you possibly be with a man who can't do anything for you ? He can't take you out he can't pay your bills he can't even satisfy your sexual needs when you want him to .How can this relationship be fulfilling ? Then before you can even answer they have already rationalize your decision by assuming you have been brain washed and manipulated into being in a prison relationship. Thus giving the impression that you are weak minded with very few options. And though I can't speak for every woman I can speak for myself in saying that any woman that agrees to faithfully Wait on her man whether wrongfully or rightfully convicted is a strong devoted woman. Being in a relationship such as this will truly make a woman out of you if you allow it to. You have to be a completely selfless person to put your own desires to the side to understand the misfortune that your man has been subjected to .   the love and devotion you have for your spouse while incarcerated will teach you humility. You learn discipline understanding strength and communication on a level most people will never reach . Everything about prison has been strategically formulated to break the foundation of the home.The whole ideology of the prison system is to stop prisoners from feeling any type of normality in there life which become a punishment to the families that love them. We are subjected to paying high cost just to be in verbal communication with our loved ones. traveling to facilities for visits is never a easy task for any family member. It take a dedicated wife to be up at the crack of dawn after working a full time job with or without children to make sure she is ready for a very long drive or bus ride to see her spouse. Then walking into a facility where the officers feel obligated to disrespect and discourage you for making the effort to see your spouse. aside from your daily living expenses supporting a loved one in prison puts a strain on your finances. Not having a reliable source of transportation will leave you  paying for costly transportation . Once you actually get into the facilities a great portion of your salary is spent on over priced vending machine food for your entire family and keeping money on your loved ones account. some women  have driven five or more hours to a prison to see their loved only to be refused upon arrival .Officers have denied visits for some of the most pettiest reasons like clothing being the wrong shade of blue or wearing ,the size of the clothes , how many layers of clothing your wearing to  a v-neck shirt instead of the crew neck. I have seen visits denied simply because the correctional officers do not like you. maintaining a relationship like this is hard and very stressful. you are constantly facing obstacles and overcoming them.  All in all as a woman that is dedicated to her spouse, We constantly have to take risks to maintain basic communication in order to keep the relationship alive. Most women in todays society are more concerned with how many followers they can gain by how naked they are while Wives ,mothers, sisters and daughters take the initiative to maintain the relationship with family members in prison. we supporters deserve more credit and respect for what they do. It takes strength ,loyalty, dedication and faith to be a prison wife.As woman facing the same circumstances I have experienced us  putting our differences to the side to comfort one another in need. Prison relationships are emotionally ,finically and spiritually draining . The world looks at you like you are politically incorrect for doing what family is supposed to do. we lack a lot of support from people we thought would always have our backs. Because of being ostracized by friends & some family , I have built bonds with other wives that can relate to my pain. We have encouraged and helped me through this journey.With these bonds I have encountered some amazing women. People outside of this situation do not understand that life does not stop for us, Not even when we are dealing with a crisis.  Prison Wives and civilians live in two different worlds; we deal with life happening as a civilian but then we also have to deal with the unpredictable world of prison. you have to be mentally strong and communicate frequently about any and everything. limitations on phone calls can make things difficult but after getting the hang of things you will quickly learn how to be direct with what you feel and say to get the roots of your issues. This relationship has helped me grow in so many ways . The love my husband and I share is fulfilling in ways i never thought existed.  my spouse and I were each others best friend from the time we were kids prison helped our love to grow & mature into what it needed to be for marriage. limitations of a prison relationship will force you to truly understand one another on a emotional and spiritual level which is how relationships should actually be. We did not have to pretend to be anything other then who we truly were.    Having God as the center of our union has fixed ,healed and mended the things we did not have the power to mend to make us stronger. People seem to think that circumstances determine the success of relationships but in all actuality ,your foundation is what determines  the success of any relationship. You can not build your house on sand and expect it to withstand the storm. Our love was built on (stone)God in the middle of  hell in America, God is going to uses us as a testimony for what he can do with what everyone thought was nothing. God has a plan for everyone. For those that can relate to my story, I know it may seem like the pain will never end but you can find peace in this situation with God. Trust in God and Gain your peace.

Sincerely, Mrs.Marsden